Things My Parents
Told Me

By: John Steuernol

I think the world is a different place now, than it was when I was born in 1951. We had TV, but it was only black and white. I recall bathing in a wash tub when I was 3 years old. The houses were smaller and the community was tighter. There was more of a sense of neighborhood and community than I think exists today. In some ways the world has become a little less friendly and people are a little more cautious. We know there are bad people out there who sometimes want to harm children if given a chance. When I was growing up in Guelph Ontario in the 50’s and 60’s it wasn’t something we worried about all that much.

As parents we want to protect our children from harms way. I can recall, as a father of three sons ushering the admonition to ‘not speak to strangers’, to be careful who you speak to and to not let strangers enter the house. I lived in B.C. when Clifford Olsen was doing terrible things. My wife ran a girls camp not far from Harrison Lake where they found a least one victim. The world has changed and unfortunately it has changed many of us.

The mind is a wonderful device, and I enjoy reading books on it’s function and form. One of the great authors and authorities on the subject today is a gentleman by the name of Dr. Joe Dispenza, the author of Evolve Your Brain.

Those who understand the form and function of the brain will tell you that it is an amazing programmable machine where programming begins even in the womb. Our programming is in part natural instinct, part experiential, part perceptual programming through interaction with others, (particularly authority figures like mom and dad); and, last, but not least, artful creation by the sub-conscious mind itself. It seems sometimes that the mind, has a mind of it’s own. It’s ability to create fiction is most amazing. Did you ever notice how we can take a bit of bad news and in no time at all convert it into a disaster of epic proportions? Such is the working of the mind.

Your sub-conscious mind, seemingly having nothing better to do, can and does just ‘make things up’. It has virtually an unlimited capacity to create an inner dialogue or programming that shapes and in many cases drives our life. For example, the parental admonition to “not talk to strangers”, could be taken by your sub-conscious mind as a prime directive later in life that could inhibit your willingness and desire to meet new acquaintances. An appropriate directive received as a child or youth might become ‘generalized’ across other dimensions of your life and serve as a roadblock to prosperity and even inner happiness. I’ve seen it happen, more times than I can count.

Imagine for a moment the impact this might have on those whose job it is to meet potential new clients. On the one hand, they know they should do it, and yet feel that somehow, it’s just wrong. They struggle with these competing forces, and then one day decide it’s just too much, give up and quit.

I’ve seen this play out in other ways, something I like to call ‘an exaggerated sense of politeness’. We were all mostly trained to be polite as children, to mind our own business, to show respect for our elders, and to not ask too many questions. In the context of the obedient child, it makes sense. If this directive to be polite and conform were again to be generalized across other dimensions of your life it could prove to be a major barrier to success. Some advisors are afraid to ask tough or pointed questions, somehow feeling that doing so may be construed as being rude, impolite or prying into someone’s life.

I find meeting new people to be interesting and sometimes even exciting. I also have a lot of curiosity and am genuinely interested in other people’s lives. Asking questions comes naturally and easy to me, and I’ve found that as long as I’m being ‘respectful’, people are willing to answer my questions, provided of course, the questions seem relevant. You have to earn the right to ask questions that require a high level of trust, but framed the right way at the right time, you would be amazed how much information people will share.

So if you find yourself reluctant to meet ‘strangers’, or feel inhibited to ask questions; ask yourself if this might stem from programming you might have received as a child, programming that ‘accidentally’ became generalized across other aspects of your life. If you suspect this is the case, please don’t blame your parents because it’s not their fault. They were only trying to protect you and they had no idea you intended to pursue a career in selling. Furthermore, it is highly unlikely they were aware of the creative mischief of the sub-conscious mind, and the impact it would eventually have upon you.

Also, take heart; the brain continues to be a most amazing programmable machine, and all you need to do is install new programming to replace that which has become worn or outdated.

If you desire to install new programming, try giving yourself a new affirmation just before you fall asleep for the next five nights:

“And while I sleep tonight I instruct my unconscious mind to create a new program for me, one that is in perfect harmony with all that I am, and all that I wish to become, so that starting tomorrow, I will find myself looking forward to meeting new people, getting to know them and allowing them to get to know me.”

That’s it! Give it a try, and discover for yourself the joy of making new acquaintances.

John Steuernol
Your ‘At The Moment Coach’
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